SI, MUY CALIENTE! The first 15 minutes of "Herbie Goes Bananas" (1980)

OK, I'm going to just come right out and say it: this is the point in the Charles Martin Smith filmography where I totally lose my shit over his sexiness. In the past entries I've posted about his films, I have been trying to show a degree of restraint in my expressions of the admiration I have for this particular person. Besides being seriously attracted to him, I also deeply admire him as an actor and director. So I've tried to keep the tone respectful to a degree. In the old deleted incarnation of this blog, I felt like I often let things careen too far into Prurient-ville. That's actually one of the reasons I junked the first version of "CMS is the Sexiest Man Alive!" and started over. So, even though I have made numerous comments of a sexual nature in this current version of the blog so far, there's still a line I've tried to keep myself from crossing.

Starting here with this entry's film, the Walt Disney Production "Herbie Goes Bananas" (1980), I find myself right at that line feeling pushed to cross it, urged on by the level of incredible hotness I am witness to. With this movie and the next several, I am confronted by Charles Martin Smith embodying what to me is pretty much perfection in my book. You'd better fucking believe at this point in his career, this 10 year stretch through the 1980s, I strongly declare that Charles Martin Smith is the Sexiest Man Alive! 

Guess what that's an image of... Go on, guess. If you said it was my splooge all over the TV screen after getting all excited watching Charles in this movie, you would be wrong. But that was a really good guess... It's actually the famous VW Love Bug's name, Herbie, caught in mid-transformation at the start of the credit sequence. As the coast of Mexico rushes by in the background, Herbie's name (animated in the distinctive shape of a VW Beetle) rolls onto the center of the screen. Then GLOOP... it changes into a gooey glob, then switches shape to a bright Mexican blanket, H-E-R-B-I-E stitched into it's design in big bold colorful letters. It's actually a clever metaphor for the transformation the living car with the mind of it's own goes through in this picture, the 4th in the popular Disney franchise. But I'll only be making a few limited references to that in my assessment of this film. Even though this is Herbie's movie, he is not who I am here to talk about.

There's who I'm here to talk about: Charles Martin Smith! We're here in the hot, sweltering city of Puerto Vallarta as the film begins, the high temperatures necessitating a wardrobe that is appropriate to the environment. So right from the start, we're hit smack-dab with Charles in an outfit that beautifully shows off his incredibly sexy legs. So much skin is exposed that I have to devote an entire entry to just the first 15 minutes of "Herbie Goes Bananas" instead of a single posting covering the whole film. You'll see: there's enough sexy CMS on display here to take up a ton of space with mouthwatering pics and gushing commentary. 

In the background behind the credits, we see a bus traveling along a coastal road. As it comes to a stop and it's passengers begin streaming off, we are introduced to our two main characters: first there's Pete (Stephen Burns), who I'm guessing is supposed to be the film's leading hunk. And actually he's pretty cute, with his nice dark hair and handsome features. But he's no match for his pal DJ (CMS). Struggling with his big duffle bag as an unruly bunch of kids shove past him, we see DJ awkwardly exit the bus.  Wow...would you take a look at those shorts? That's some surprisingly revealing clothing, huh? Look how high up his beautifully meaty thigh you can see! Swoon!

It looks like we're in for another of CMS's trademark "awkward nerd" performances... and holy cow! I'm really loving being able to see this much exposed Charles! Damn, he's lookin' goooood! Hells yeah! Just look at those incredible legs. Look! Look, I said! And guess what? There's more luscious leg action coming up! Woo hoo! I feel like I hit the jackpot!

As CMS gains his composure and stops doing that adorably klutzy thing that he does so well, he walks over to his buddy who's standing nearby admiring the beautiful scenery. "Hey Pete, are you sure this is the place?" he asks. Nice! It's been a while since CMS has had the first line of the show (the last time was that 1974 episode of "The Streets of San Francisco"). "You saw the letter. This is the place," Pete chuckles as he puts a reassuring arm around his companion. This leads to another thing I have to discuss about this film. I feel rather strongly that the relationship this pair has goes beyond just being good friends. The chemistry between DJ and Pete suggests a definite sexual component. How deep it goes or what exact form it takes is open to debate, but there's definitely something hot and tender going on here.  Continue reading and I will show you what I'm talking about.

As the guys make their way along the coastal sidewalk, we hear their reason for arriving in this exotic locale: Pete and DJ are here in Puerto Vallarta to claim a race car that Pete's uncle has left to him. "For sentimental reasons," he explains to DJ. All they have to do is pay a storage fee to the garage it's been left at, which DJ is taking care of, a wad of bills waiting in his pocket. Foolishly, he says this out loud and is overheard by a suspicious looking little Mexican kid the two guys pass by.

This kid in question is young orphan Paco (Joaquin Garay III), who follows after them and approaches the two with the initial offer of a shoe shine. When that is rejected, the little squirt informs them: "You are personally connected to a Puerto Vallartan. I show you plenty good time!" Gosh, what sort of entertainment is this kid suggesting to this handsome young pair of guys?

DJ seems a little amused, or at least curious. "Hey, what do you say, Pete?" he asks his pal, who is not interested at all. "It's not in the budget," Pete explains a little gruffly to their potential guide to the secret sexy side of this seaside city. Look at that sweet CMS smile. How could you say no to that? I don't know, but Pete does it with no trouble. Jeez... isn't it DJ's money? Who makes the decisions about how to spend each other's cash? Sounds more like bickering boyfriends than platonic pals, if you ask me...

But they DO need someone to show them how to get to the garage their car is stored at, and Paco is more than willing to do it ("Free on the house!"). He walks them down the street a ways, and is very  chatty and complimentary ("I like Americans! Americans very smart people!"). After a bit, he points out a street and directs them to go down it 2 blocks to reach their destination.

They thank their little guide and he gives them an enthusiastic "Welcome to Puerto Vallarta!" before scampering off back the way they came. DJ looks over at Pete and gives him a look of bemusement mixed with a dash of annoyance. Gosh, what a handsome mug you've got there, Charles...

Then another look comes over his face, one that seems to communicate something more tender and playful. "Let's hurry and get this car so we can go back to the hotel room and cuddle naked," it appears to be saying. At least that's what I'd like to think it's saying. Whatever kind of look that is, CMS is sure looking adorable in this scene. And if I were standing there and he were giving me that look, I'd probably have jizzed in my pants instantly.

As the pair of pals continue on their way, I get another peek at CMS in those super sexy shorts. Now, it's from behind... and I love what I see. As I've mentioned many times before on this blog, I have always been a huge fan of the rear end Charles is in possession of. Pair it with those beautifully shaped legs and I am in heaven...

Meanwhile, in a nearby hotel, three obviously evil men (Howard Vernon, Alex Rocco, and Richard Jaeckel) are examining a microfilm photo of the jungles of South America. It appears they have located a lost Incan city, and conspire to plunder it's gold.

We return to Pete and DJ, who have arrived at the garage to claim their race car. They are surprised when they are told by the head mechanic that the car in question is the VW Beetle known as Herbie. "This thing won the Monte Carlo Grand Prix?" DJ asks incredulously. The mechanic tells them a brief history of the Love Bug's most recent success as well as a tragic final race that led to Herbie retiring from racing with a broken heart. Or something like that... I think they'd better wrap it up and get a move on. There's some naked cuddling to get to!

It's time to pay the deposit, and it's at this moment that DJ discovers his wallet is missing from his back pocket. Oh crap, that little Mexican brat stole it! But he and Pete play it cool and don't let on that they don't have the cash to pay up, instead asking if they can take the little car around the block to see how  well it's running. The friendly mechanic suspects nothing and says yes. 

Now they're tooling around the alleys and side streets of Puerto Vallarta, on the hunt for that sneaky little shit. Actually, the 2 actors are now on a soundstage with cheaply matted optical effects behind them (typical of Disney movies in the 1970s). They're both mad as hell and angry at themselves too for being such suckers. I must say, they're both kinda cute when they're pissed. Look at that adorably annoyed expression on CMS's face...

Not far away, the three villains we saw earlier are now leaving their hotel, where they run into Paco on the sidewalk. He offers to carry their bags, but ends up getting in a scuffle with them. The kid even gets kicked by one of them, and he goes flying into the street! Damn! But the resilient runt just picks himself up and scampers away into traffic, apparently unharmed, darting between vehicles like a little latin frogger...

Of course Paco has grabbed a bad guy's wallet too, and he sits behind a large crate in the alley to look at what he's gained from his thievery. As he rifles through the stolen billfolds, he discovers the secret microfilm that reveals the location of the lost Incan city, although he is totally ignorant of it's significance. Meanwhile, Pete and DJ (back on location and off the soundstage) manage to spot the larcenist's lanky legs poking out from behind the crate. "See that grubby little foot out behind that box?" Pete asks with an angry growl to his voice. "A cold beer says it's attached to Paco the dip!" Yeah, and see that fabulously furry forearm resting there on the window sill? A warm bear says it's attached to The Sexiest Man Alive. 

Pete and DJ try to quietly slip out of the VW so they can sneak over and grab the brat, but Herbie's squeaky door alerts Paco to their presence. Darn! DJ slams the door shut in frustration! This initiates an extended chase sequence, with Paco swiftly speeding through the backyards and back alleys, Pete close on his tail with DJ bumbling behind and barely keeping up. I'm absolutely astounded once again by the super sexy sight of CMS's lovely legs. 

Although the other two hop over a wall with relative ease, DJ struggles quite a bit more to scale the obstacle. In the process, I am treated to some prime footage of CMS being all cute & clumsy. Both that incredible butt and those fantastic legs are displayed so nicely in this moment. Holy moly! 

The more CMS slips and stumbles, the more excited I get in response. It's crazy, I know this scene is really not intended to be so friggin' hot, but I can't help but feel it really is... absurdly so! How can you not have this adorable guy wear those tiny little brown shorts, accentuating the most arousing attributes of this particular performer, and not be aware of the stunningly sexy sights shown in these scenes? I mean really! That ass, those legs... 

The awkwardness continues as DJ finally gets over the wall and into the backyard on the opposite side. Before you know it, he's ran right into a bunch of drying laundry hanging on the line, a big blue piece of fabric wrapping itself around his precious puss. At least his lower body remains unobscured for me to enjoy. So nice!

Slowed down by DJ's accidental antics, they lose Paco in the mess of  locals and tourists crowding the sidewalks. As the two friends separate to spread the search over a wider area, the trio of villains realize they've also been the victim of Paco's pickpocketing. Now they're all hunting for his hide. Who will find him first? Look everywhere, he's got to be around here someplace...

It's oh so cute when Pete and DJ come barreling around a corner from opposite directions and run smack-dab into each other. Oops! They fumble for a few seconds in each other's arms before they regain their balance. I wish I could see more of that kind of activity between them, but they are quickly distracted by something: Oh hey, look over there. It's that little shit Paco, still holding onto the two wallets!

Pete and DJ split up so they can come at the kid from either side. I get to see CMS run around in those super sexy shorts some more, doing that goofy-yet-hot thing once again. There he goes, running over to spy on the thief from behind the tree. Is it me, or is there something about that ankle sticking out from behind the trunk all askew that says "gayness present here"? Yeah, true... it's a somewhat stereotypical presumption, but I'll take my gay-related Charles Martin Smith elements where ever I can find them.

Now I get to see CMS doing that cutely angry facial expression again. So here's another gratuitous shot of him showing it off. Obviously, I think Mr. Smith is looking highly handsome in this particular motion picture. Therefore, every opportunity to appreciate the photographic evidence is completely and totally justified as far as I'm concerned.

As DJ watches, Paco pulls the stolen wallet out of his pocket, rifles through it and pulls out a single dollar bill, then starts to put the pilfered billfold in a nearby mailbox. "Oh no you don't!" DJ shouts out as he rushes out from behind the tree, grabbing the klepto kid before he can drop it though the mail slot.  Jeez, all that trouble to just take $1, when there's clearly more cash to grab out of it? What's that all about? Anyhow, now the guys have recovered their deposit money and they're on their way back to their newly acquired vehicle.

But there's still the villain's wallet too, and Paco pulls it out and admires it. This time he doesn't even take any money out, just holds it in his hands and looks at it. What the hell kind of pickpocket is this? Oh boy, the bad guys are across the street, yelling for the return of the wallet. Too late! Paco drops it in the mailbox and runs away as fast as he can. Herbie seems to have taken a shine to the little pickpocket and appears at a convenient moment, rolling over to the rascal to offer his trunk as a hiding place.  Paco  happily hops inside. Shortly after, Pete and DJ return to the car and prepare to head to the garage to pay that deposit they owe the mechanic. Aw, how nice. What honest guys. They could have said screw the garage and just taken off and gone back to the hotel. Naked cuddle time is overdue!

The police have helped the trio of antagonists retrieve their wallet from the mailbox, and they discover the Incan microfilm is not inside. Paco must have shoved it back into the wrong wallet... DJ's wallet. Gosh! They assume the kid still has it and in their search catch a glimpse of him peeking out of Herbie's trunk.

"Stop that car," they yell... but Herbie isn't going to let them capture his new pal. He pops a wheelie and peels off at super-speed. Pete and DJ sit inside, powerless to control the little car that has taken command of the situation. "Maybe this bug did win the Grand Prix!" DJ gasps in astonishment. "I think we've got ourselves a race car!" 

OK, then! There's been a quick change of plans. Pete and DJ are going to take Herbie to Brazil for the Grand Primeo race, booking passage on the cruise ship Sun Princess. As they watch from the dock, Herbie is loaded into the storage hold of the vessel, the sneaky little brat secretly stowing away inside. I take a moment to admire the lovely sight of Charles Martin Smith in those sexy shorts. Unfortunately, we don't see him wearing anything this hot for the rest of the film (though the orange mechanic's jumpsuit we see him in the film's final scene is quite sexy too). So I'm going to admire the lovely view of CMS from behind one more time before the film moves on.

"Something's weird about that car, DJ," Pete says suspiciously, understating the obvious. Acting as though cars that come to life are not really unusual or cause for concern, DJ responds enthusiastically: "I know! It's dynamite, and it will blow the doors off anything in the race!" 

And with that, DJ grabs his cuddle buddy's arm and they move onboard the boat. Soon, they'll be laying together in their cabin bed, their naked limbs intertwined, softly snoring as they sweetly snooze in each other's arms, finally resting and relaxing after their hectic little adventure in Puerto Vallarta. At least, that's what I'd like to think happens. I continue to maintain that there is a special relationship between these two characters. Why else are they so inseparable? With the exception of one scene, Pete and DJ are never seen apart for the entire movie. They remain constantly by each other's side, both devoted to the very end of the film. You'll see more of their relationship described in the next look I take at "Herbie Goes Bananas" and CMS. 

It's time to wrap this entry up and get it published, since completion of this one is so seriously overdue.  It's crazy: the last actual write-up of one of his films was nearly four months ago. Four friggin' months! Damn! Hopefully you won't be waiting long for the next one: my account of an amazing ocean voyage filled with love, lust, and romance. It's sex and seduction on a ship at sea in the next chapter of "Charles Martin Smith is the Sexiest Man Alive!"

WHERE IS THE CMS LOVE?

Gosh, what's going on? Valentine's Day has come and gone and I've missed the opportunity to make a holiday-appropriate amorous tribute to CMS. And plus here I am on the verge of looking through the sexy appearances my favorite actor made on the big (and small) screen throughout the '80s, a decade of hotness that puts his work in the '70s to shame. You'd think I would eagerly dive in and tear though this stuff, wouldn't you? Truth be told, I've been rather distracted and have neglected one or two things. Like this blog.

But don't worry, readers. I still love Charlie and his work, and he still occupies a special place in my heart. I have been getting back to it, working on the entry for the next CMS movie I will be discussing: "Herbie Goes Bananas" (1980). You'll be shocked and amazed at the incredible hotness I uncover hiding in this supposedly family-friendly G-Rated Disney film. I'll see you next entry with the photographic evidence and in-depth analysis of that delicious one-of-a-kind sexiness that only Charles Martin Smith can provide. The CMS love is on it's way...

Another film festival for THAT DARN BEAR!

Back in the fall of 2011, I mentioned a short film I had pieced together paying tribute to my favorite actor, Charles Martin Smith. In particular, it examines the impact his performance in Disney's 1983 movie "Never Cry Wolf" had on me in my younger days. Initially meant for just myself, I ended up submitting it to a San Francisco short film festival  where the audience response was very positive. So whad'ya know? "That Darn Bear" (2011) is screening publicly again! The fine folks at Tucson AZ's "Out in the Desert" LGBT Film Festival 2013 have selected my CMS-centric short to be part of an "Adults Only" program (Behind Closed Doors, Friday January 25th @ 10:30 PM). Sadly, I won't be there to see how this bunch of moviegoers react to my little labor of love. But if you are in the vicinity of Tucson on January 25th, perhaps you can drop in and check it out (as well as any of the other awesome-sounding films running in the festival).

ESSENTIAL '80s CMS

Woo hoo! It's the start of a new year, and I've made it to the second decade of Charles Martin Smith's career! I'm very excited that I was able to acquire almost everything he appeared in from the 1980s. There are two exceptions, and both are television projects. The first is the 2nd episode of the short-lived 1980 TV series "When the Whistle Blows" and the second is a unsold TV pilot from 1981 called "Gabe and Walker" (so obscure it's not even on Mr. Smith's IMDb page). Besides those, I've gotten my hands on all the rest. It's true, it was an easier task than getting the 1970s stuff, but we're also comparing a shorter list (the '80s have 11 total titles compared to the 24 from the '70s I had to search for). Even if his pace slowed down, he made up for it by giving us his strongest and most entertaining work. Best of all, Charles reaches his highest peak of total sexiness during this time period. Here's a preview of the next batch of CMS I'll be examining:

Herbie Goes Bananas (1980)

I'm totally bananas for  Charlie's second appearance in a Walt Disney motion picture, looking even hotter than in his previous film for the studio ("No Deposit, No Return")! 

Never Cry Wolf (1983)

The third time really is the charm when CMS plays the lead role in his third film for Disney. The movie itself is incredible on so many levels, and there are no words strong enough to describe how super-sexy Charlie is in it!

Starman (1984)

Another top-notch chunk of celluloid: not only a career highlight for CMS, but also stars Jeff Bridges and Karen Allen, as well as director John Carpenter. And the Smith sexiness is still going strong...

Twilight Zone: The Beacon (1985)

Charlie's first full-on horror title, from the '80s revival of the popular '60s series. Cuteness levels still remain high...

The Ray Bradbury Theater: Banshee (1986)

More horror for CMS with this ACE award-winning episode, playing opposite the great Peter O'Toole. Charlie's hotness shows no signs of stopping...

Trick or Treat (1986)
CMS makes a cameo appearance in his highly entertaining directorial debut. Even disguised, he cannot conceal his cuteness.

The Untouchables (1987)

Perhaps Mr. Smith's most well-known performance is in this superb Brian De Palma classic, playing in his best ensemble cast since "American Graffiti" (1973)... and of course he's hella handsome in it too!

The Experts (1989)

More CMS cuteness in this Cold War comedy from actor-turned-director Dave Thomas, with co-stars John Travolta and Kelly Preston. 

The Ray Bradbury Theater: Boys! Raise Giant Mushrooms in Your Cellar (1989)

Charlie finishes out the 80s with a truly adorable guest appearance, as he returns for another starring role on this entertainingly eerie TV series.

Wow! Such great movie and TV watching ahead of me! I am so eager to dig in and share it with you! See you soon with more CMS love!

TERRY THE TOAD II: "More American Graffiti" (1979)

Back in the late 1970s, two of the most successful films of the decade had highly-anticipated sequels in production. Although George Lucas had directed both "Star Wars" (1977) and "American Graffiti" (1973), and was considerably involved in the making of their follow-up films, he declined returning to the role of actual director. One of these, "The Empire Strikes Back" (1980), of course went on to be considered one of the greatest sequels in cinema history. The other, "More American Graffiti" (1979), was not very popular with audiences or critics and was soon forgotten. Admittedly, "More..." was not as good a film as the original, lacking the organic magic of it's predecessor and feeling a bit forced in comparison. And yet I can't help but still enjoy "More..." despite it's flaws (and there are more than a few). There's also a lot of things the film did right, and it's easy to admire the movie's ambitiousness even if it falls a little short of realizing it's vision. Much has been said about how this sequel felt so unnecessary, but I would disagree. Considering what an interesting period the '60s were socially and historically, I think revisiting the characters from the original film and offering a view of the flip side to the innocence of the decade's earlier years feels like completing an unfinished story. 

Like the movie poster here, the results are occasionally cartoonish and overblown. Something that helps a lot in anchoring "More..." is the strong performances from the terrific main cast. With the exception of Richard Dreyfuss, all of the major actors return to reprise their roles. In addition to CMS's Terry the Toad, we once again get to spend time with lovably kooky Debbie Dunham (Candy Clark), bad boy racer John Milner (Paul Le Mat), still-bickering now-married couple Steve & Laurie Bolander (Ron Howard & Cindy Williams), smart and sassy Carol Morrison (Mackenzie Phillips), and Pharaohs gang members Little Joe (Bo Hopkins) and Carlos (Manuel Padilla Jr). Even Bob Falfa (Harrison Ford) shows up for a brief cameo. Behind the camera is director Bill L Norton, whose previous films were "Cisco Pike" and "Gargoyles" (both 1972). His next film after this one: "Baby: Secret of the Lost Legend" (1985). He was considered a suitable choice by Mr. Lucas to replace him as the new writer and director due to Norton's California upbringing, which is a little interesting when you think about how Cali-centric "More..." really is. The whole movie was even shot entirely within the state of CA, including all the Vietnam scenes.

Another interesting aspect of the production is the decision to spread the narrative over four consecutive New Year's Eves (from 1964 to 1967), with each year given it's own visual style and mood. 1964 looks and sounds the most like '62 in the original film, with it's 2.35 scope cinematography, glistening cars and "Wolfman" Jack radio show playing in the background. 1965's Vietnam sequences are given a grainy news footage look with it's washed out colors and tight 1.37 aspect ratio. 1966's San Francisco setting is visualized in an almost psychedelic manner (reminiscent of the split screen/multiple images from 1970's "Woodstock" documentary). Modesto's mise-en-scène circa 1967 is presented in a more straight-forward manner, with it's suburban squabbling and political protests presented in a standard 1.85 image. Instead of a linear plotline, the 4 years are intercut with the narrative hopping back-and-forth in time. The film was heavily criticized for this storytelling approach, and even Lucas later said he felt it was a misguided concept. It's actually one of the things I like most about the movie. It's debatable how successful an idea it was in regards to telling the tales, but on a technical level it's sometimes dazzling to behold. Acclaimed cinematographer Caleb Deschanel was given one of his first feature-film DP gigs on this movie, starting his decades-long career on a strong point, his impressive visuals expertly edited together by Tina Hirsch (with uncredited contributions from Duwayne Dunham, Marcia Lucas and George himself). 

With these things going for it, why is the movie ultimately considered a failure? The new plot concocted for this beloved cast of characters is admittedly a little uneven and sometimes feels uninspired, but at least it never gets flat-out boring. Part of the problem is the narrative is locked into certain specific plot points, all laid out for several of the main characters at the end of "American Graffiti" before the credits roll: John dies in a car crash, Terry perishes in Vietnam, Steve stays in Modesto, Curt is conveniently in Canada. Lucas fudged it a bit when he re-released a slightly revised "Graffiti" in 1978, changing the date of John Milner's car crash from June to December. But otherwise they had to "stick to the facts".  At least this works in favor of the female characters in the movie, who are free to have whatever adventures the writers cook up.

The film starts with a shot flying alongside a group of US helicopters somewhere in the jungles of Vietnam (but actually filmed in the decidedly un-jungled wilds of Marin CA). Just as in the first one, "More" features an almost non-stop soundtrack composed entirely of popular tunes from the era. The first song we are treated to is "(Love Is Like A) Heatwave" by Martha & the Vandellas. It seems extremely appropriate that at the precise moment the vocals begin, Charles Martin Smith's credit appears on the screen. The opening lines ("Whenever I'm with him / Something inside / Starts to burnin' / And I'm filled with desire") seems to sum up the reaction I have when I see CMS in one of his movies or TV appearances. Filled with desire, indeed...

It's December 31st, 1964 when we join our five main characters at a racetrack in Fremont CA. It doesn't seem like much of a surprise that Steve and Laurie are still together, even if the two of them spend most of their scenes together bickering or arguing. I'm happy to see that Terry and Debbie have remained an item. Though unlike their pals the Bolanders, they aren't married and/or expecting. In contrast, John Milner's single status stands out. Presumably he's been so busy trying to transition from illegal street drag racing to professional sponsored racing there's no time left for for love. Later in the film he crosses paths with someone (Anna Bjorn) that could change all that. Lucky for him... or perhaps unlucky for him. From the get-go, we know that what we are watching unfold in the 1964 plot thread is the last day of Milner's life.

This also leads us to the other imminent fatality of the film. The group of friends isn't just there to show support for Milner's racing efforts, but to also give Terry the opportunity to say goodbye to John before being shipped off for combat in Vietnam. Terry sounds pretty gung-ho about the whole thing, laughing and cracking jokes the entire time: "Uncle Sam says, 'I need the Toad. Only way we're gonna win this one, get the Toad in there.'" Milner isn't laughing, but he doesn't want to rain on Terry's parade either. "Gonna go kick ass, huh?" he asks. All smiles, Terry responds enthusiastically: "Kick ass, take names and eat Cong for breakfast." And with that, he swigs his beer, puts his arms around Debbie and plants a proud kiss on her.

The image texture and size shift as the narrative jumps to the next New Year's Eve, 1965. Now that Terry's in Vietnam, living the reality of life as a soldier, his whole attitude has changed. He just wants to get home alive and reunite with Debbie, and his plan to make that happen involves sustaining an injury. Alone in the jungle, he hangs his rifle on a tree and tries to shoot himself in the arm with it. Instead, his gun jams as he slips and falls down in the mud. Aww... poor unlucky Terry.

Then the rifle does go off accidentally, and some of the shots hit the perimeter of the base where the other soldiers mistake it for sniper fire. In response, the base blasts the bushes with a barrage of bullets and bombs. Terry scrambles for cover as explosions go off all around him. Being aware that this is also supposed to be the last day in Terry's life, the scene should feel dangerous and menacing. At any point, some combat situation like what we are seeing now will result in the death of Toad. But instead of presenting it in a serious manner, the film plays this scene for comedic effect, making it almost borderline-slapstick. A few reviews at the time of the film's release took issue with the Vietnam scenes for making light of the wartime experience, and I have to agree this scene feels like a not-very-funny misstep. Terry's death is no laughing matter.

The film abandons Terry for a moment as the explosions shift into a series of psychedelic abstract images (mostly taken from Scott Bartlett's 1972 short film "OffOn") and we skip ahead one more year to New Year's Eve in 1966. Debbie has relocated to San Francisco and Carol (now calling herself Rainbow) has made the move along with her. When we join her, Debbie is driving along with her current douchebag boyfriend Lance (John Lansing). She's musing about what a depressing day it is for her, having lost John to the car accident at the end of '64 and Terry in Vietnam on the final day of '65. She still speaks fondly of Terry, of how sweet he was to her and how he wanted them to get married. Lance, sitting in the passenger seat as he rolls a joint, barely pays any attention to what she's telling him. Not only is it depressing watching Debbie settle for this obvious jerk after being with a great guy like Terry, being reminded that two favorite main characters are about to have their lives abruptly cut short is a real bummer too...

There's a jump to Modesto 1967 for Steve & Laurie's plotline, followed by a big leap back to Fremont 1964. This is the dance the storyline does for the remainder of the running time (three steps forward, one leap backwards). With this second scene in '64, we see the five main characters together for one last time before the narrative scatters them on their own individual paths. It's a shame there won't be anymore scenes of Terry and Debbie together, since it was fun to see them share the screen again after having enjoyed their pairing so much in the original film. The sequence ends with Milner's somber plea to Terry to come back from the war alive. One doomed character unknowingly commenting on the other's inevitable fate...

We return to Toad in '65's war zone, as "Stop! In  the Name of Love!" by The Supremes blasts dramatically from the soundtrack. Stop indeed! Before you break my heart by killing off sweet adorable Terry before my eyes! As the smoke clears, the American troops are surprised to see their familiar fellow foot soldier staggering out of the smoke and waving a white flag of surrender. Amazingly, Toad sustained no serious injuries while under fire (beyond a small scrape on his hand). The commanding officer Major Creech (Richard Bradford) seems pretty suspicious as to what Terry was doing outside the base perimeter alone but is too distracted by the presence of a visiting congressman to push the issue. Thank goodness. Terry's off the hook for now...

Coincidentally, Little Joe of the Pharaoh's gang also happens to be stationed at the same base with Terry. Although the characters never shared any screen time together in the first "Graffiti" film, they seem like good pals now. They're both newly assigned to chopper detail under aircraft commander Bob Sinclair (James Houghton). Terry flat-out tells him: "I don't want to disappoint you sir, but you got yourself in with a couple of cowards here. We like things safe and easy." But when Sinclair responds that he has volunteered them for med-vac duty, Terry totally loses his cool. "Happy Goddamn New Year!" he shouts as he furiously stomps away. Soon, they're on their first mission together, and it becomes clear very quickly that Joe and Terry are far more experienced in matters of combat than Sinclair is. His poorly thought-out flightpath  puts their 'copter in the line of enemy fire, and they're hit by several rounds of gunfire. If only Sinclair had listened to Terry, who knew they were in danger...

The humor that has run through the Vietnam sequences up to this point disappears with this scene, which seems to be going for a more serious approach. I wonder if the change of tone is possibly due to a different director filming the scene, since George Lucas also shot some of the Vietnam footage (supposedly some of the combat material... uncredited, of course). Although the movie is now trying to present a more realistic depiction of the war, it seems there are still a few jarring plot problems that keep it from feeling really and truly believable. To quote from the IMDb page for the film:

"Toad is portrayed as a helicopter pilot, wearing the appropriate rank of a warrant officer, yet he is treated as a low-ranking enlisted man who takes orders from the First Sergeant and is placed on details for enlisted men. Normally, this would not be the case, as a warrant officer outranks a First Sergeant, and therefore would not carry out such tasks. Additionally, Toad's poor vision would have most-likely precluded him from being a helicopter pilot in the first place."

Their 'copter finally reaches their pick-up point: retrieving a group of wounded soldiers on the edge of an active battlefield. As the injured troopers are loaded onto the aircraft, the loud screams of one of them fills the air. You don't see any battlefield gore, but the juicy gurgling in his screaming is pretty disturbing: the awful sound of a man choking on his own blood. Even though Terry identified himself as a coward, he handles this all very well, jumping into action and tending the wounded without hesitation. Not surprisingly, Sinclair is absolutely horrified. "Don't worry," Toad shouts over the noise. "You don't get used to it." So of course sweet Terry is not numb to the atrocities, he's just good at holding his shit together: an impressive soldier after all...

There's a shifting of gears as the comedic elements quickly return to the movie. When we rejoin Terry, we come to what is of course a highlight for me: Charles taking off some clothing! Woo hoo! Bare-chested and covered in mud, playing a rowdy and spirited game of football with the other soldiers, I find my eyes coming back to and lingering upon Charlie's finely fleshed body. It's funny how not even the dirty muck all over him can ruin his appeal for me. Even covered in mud, I still think Charles Martin Smith is the sexiest man alive.

As Sam the Sham's "Wooly Bully" plays on the soundtrack, giving the whole thing a party-like atmosphere, the guys run around slipping and sliding in the slick sludge. Although the motion is too fast and blurry to get a good screen capture, at least I get a few moments where CMS stands still for a second so I can savor his shirtless sexiness more clearly. As I sit and ogle, Terry begins to formulate a plan when he sees the increasingly rough game claim a victim (who lets out a Wilhelm Scream when he's crushed under a tackling pile of men). An injured soldier hurt while playing is carried away to the infirmary while a lightbulb goes off over Toad's head. Getting injured in a bout of macho roughhousing seems a whole lot easier than trying to shoot himself in the arm!

He spots a particularly huge brute of a man and walks over to position himself right in the big guys path, anticipating an especially injurious tackle. And I insist on illustrating the fact with another gratuitous shot of an adorably mudcaked CMS. Gosh, it's enough to provoke steamy fantasies of unclothed mud wrestling with Charlie, even though that's not something I have ever fantasized about before in my life. Mud's not my thing, normally...

The instant the larger player lunges forward, he looses his footing and serously hurts his leg, falling to the ground and writhing in pain. An incredulous Terry is left stands over him, deeply disappointed to have missed his chance to get that much-needed injury. "Some guys have all the luck," he grumbles as he storms away. Gosh, he's so cute when he's stomping mad...

When Terry explains his "ticket home" strategy to a confused Sinclair, Major Creech happens to step up behind him and overhear the whole plan. As punishment, The Toad has now been assigned to latrine duty for an entire month, starting immediately! Oh no! Poor Terry... what a crappy New Year's!

Latrine duty requires a training lecture, delivered by an army sergeant played by Delroy Lindo in one of his first film roles. He's not the only actor making an early-career appearance in this movie:  Scott Glenn, Mary Kay Place, Naomi Judd, Rosanna Arquette and Nancy Fish all pop up among the cast as well. But I digress... As he wipes off the football mud, Terry's cops an attitude and rejects his latrine lesson. "Don't give me that crap," the sergeant growls. "Don't give me this crap!" Terry replies loudly. But sadly, there's no getting out of it, and there's a load of shit waiting to be taken care of.

Like in the first film, many of the rock songs on the soundtrack are heard coming from radio speakers in the background of various scenes. Smartly, someone decided that a popular tune might not be a good match to a depiction of someone having to dispose of fecal matter. So what do we hear instead? It's a radio public service announcement of the dangers of untreated venereal disease. Haha... Cute. Meanwhile, Terry still hasn't put his shirt back on, which I'm surprised about. I figured he'd want to cover up his chest or face if he's carrying around big metal tubs filled with piss and shit, all pressed up against his chest as it sloshes around under his nose. But hey: it's an excuse to see some more shirtless CMS, so I won't complain. 

As he sets down the tub o' turds in preparation for cremating the contents, he tries to gives it an angry kick. Oops! He slips in the mud again, going down hard and landing on his ass. Oh Charles, you make klutziness so adorable. And I have the screen caps to prove it. 

Take a look at this production still for the movie. I think it's interesting that once again an image of Charles Martin Smith with his shirt off is used in a film's promotion (see "The Spikes Gang" and "Rafferty and the Gold Dust Twins" for other examples). I'm not sure if this was just a set photographer's staged shot, if it's a deleted scene or even an alternate take of the overheard conversation with Sinclair, when Terry was still freshly covered in mud. In any case, it's very nice to look at CMS sans shirt again. Getting older, looking hotter...

It's a busy New Year's Eve for Terry, as he joins Sinclair and Little Joe on another helicopter mission. Toad mentions the significance of the day for him in a conversation with Joe remembering John Milner's death the previous year. It's another reminder that our main characters are in danger and can die at any time. In the next scene with Laurie in 1967, she even mentions Terry dying in the war, prodding us again with the foreknowledge of the poor guy's fate. And of course right on cue the three of them fly into a hot zone of enemy activity, a rain of bullets striking their 'copter. Yikes! They're really in trouble! Before you know it, the aircraft goes down in a haze of smoke and flame, crashing into the trees below.

But don't count Terry out just yet. He's managed to survive the impact, but he might have found himself in one of those "out-of-the-frying-pan-into-the-fire" situations. Their location is heavily under fire, and a group of Vietnamese soldiers is shooting at them from just across the river. Terry manages to contact a nearby 'copter over the radio that could fly in and rescue them. Unfortunately, their potential savior is none other than Major Creech, who tells them they'll have to sit tight until the situation on the ground gets less hairy.  

Sinclair figures out and voices what Terry knew all along: Creech is afraid to come down to get them. There's another series of shots from across the river, forcing them to respond with a volley of gunfire. As they continue to defend their position and wait for rescue, I'm going to draw this entry to a close. I've rambled on long enough about this particular movie, and spoiled enough of Terry's story. Just go watch it already, you might be surprised how it all ends up turning out for everyone. I am guessing there's a good chance you haven't seen this particular film. When I asked people I knew what they thought of the "American Graffiti" sequel, just about all of them told me they didn't even know this movie existed (including friends who said they're big fans of the original film). So give it a shot. Despite the flaws, it really is worth watching.

I think a big part of my own personal enjoyment of "More American Graffiti" was the opportunity to see CMS reprise his iconic "adorable nerd" role one more time. As I would expect, he does a great job of maintaining strong character continuity, as do the other lead actors. All of them deliver impressive performances, especially when you take into account the occasionally weak script they had to work with. Also, there are a few scattered moments that almost capture some of the magic of the first movie. The final shot of the film in particular is very powerful and moving. And there's even a chance to briefly hear CMS sing again: just "Auld Lang Sine" of course. It is New Year's Eve, after all. 

It isn't very far from New Year's Eve 2012 right now as I wrap up this entry, and I'm looking back over this last year spent going through as much of Charles Martin Smith's 1970s filmography as I could find. Getting my paws on 18 out of 24 titles isn't so bad, huh? I have to say it's been quite enjoyable watching these movies and TV episodes chronologically, seeing him grow as a talented actor and develop as a seriously attractive guy. CMS definitely ended the decade on some high notes (we won't talk about "A Dog's Life" anymore), but I'm happy to say it gets even better. The 1980s provide us with the most famous work of Mr. Smith's career, as well as a view of the man at his absolute sexiest. Coming up, we'll take a sneak peek at what lies ahead of us, including my favorite CMS film of all time: "Never Cry Wolf" (1983).